Full-On 365™

A Blog ABout Committing to Living Full On for 365 days

After returning from an adventure in West Africa, I was excitedly recounting some of my wild and whacky stories about motorcycling through Mali and thwarting kidnappings and a murder in Timbuktu by 4 hours when several of my colleagues asked, “Do you write these stories down somewhere?”

After I heard this a few more times, I was initially inspired to start an “adventure blog” about living full-on. My peeps wanted me to make it a travel blog of sorts since I’ve been racking up the frequent flyer miles lately. However, I realized that for me to feel inspired about it, it would have to mean more to me than sharing my travels, however amazing they’ve been.

As you may or may not know, I have had cancer – twice. One of the biggest lessons I learned on those journeys was a realization that I am more than who I am when I am living full-on Nat Geo-style adventures. Prior to this catalytic experience at the age of 30, I had felt worthy and alive only when doing really epic things. Most of these were at least mildly dangerous in very real ways, and often were moreso.

People loved hearing the stories. I felt excited and excit-ing, and life was very Full On. But it was cheating. Like adding butter to everything. Of course it tastes better with butter! That’s why I LOVE it! Of course people loved my adventurous life, and so did I! It’s easy to when it involves dramatically remote and beautiful places and near-death experiences (oh, the irony…).

But what was underneath my adventures that was of substance? What…endured?

Being diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma was the first experience I’d had where I was scared and couldn’t simply rely on being able to “power through” it. It was the first time I had to admit that I may not succeed, and the consequences of this were overwhelming.

“What if I didn’t get better?” “How can I feel alive and worthy without having to do these epic and dangerous adventures?” The Big C was dangerous enough, thank you very much.

So I had to come up with a new definition of what it meant for me to live Full On. I realized it meant taking more inner risks, to live my purpose and connect authentically with those in my life, to be willing to disappoint others to be true to my self. And many other things.

The blog entries for 365 are about me committing to live Full On not just in outward epic adventures, but in the inner ones that challenge you to live with no more excuses. I invite you to join me on my journey here as I attempt to walk the talk, every day, for 365 days.

Oh yes, there are naysayers. There are those who tell me my whole life that my positive philosophy is rose-colored and not “realistic.” That if I “really” experienced the “real world,” I wouldn’t be so optimistic.

Yet when I found beauty as I slept by my dying father, honored to midwife him to the other side; or when I marveled awe-struck in the depth and complexity of feelings that welled up from a broken heart, grateful for the spectrum of human emotions; or when I sat silently next to a fellow human who lost their child in labor and felt the powerful connection and compassion between two humans fully present with one another, I knew I was right. I felt that Ziji – that radiant inner confidence – in what I believe.

It is all a part of a full-on life. Feeling it all, fully. Living it all, fully. Knowing what you want, fully. Receiving it, fully.

What matters most to me is that Full-On 365™ might inspire you or someone you know to do the same, and live a Full-On life.

Ziji Up,